It is just a few days prior to Christmas, and I can’t help but feel anything BUT in the Christmas spirit. I’ve been sharing on my stories lately ways many of us invalidate our feelings or the feelings of others through our choice of words, and I thought it was important to bring that to a post in your feed.
It took me a long time (27 years) to learn, you do not have to be positive constantly. My mind has been trained over time to constantly put up a front in order to prove to the world how strong and fierce I am. With age I have learned we can still be strong and fierce, and also have emotions that aren’t favorable by our society. We can still give ourselves permission to feel anger, sadness, guilt, regret, and inadequacy without thinking it is wrong.
We are in the age of aesthetic feeds and joyful emotions constantly generated. A highlight reel that never stops spinning with perfectly curated moments. When in reality, 75% of us aren’t feeling that joyful. Our aesthetic isn’t cohesive, but rather it is chaotic. But why would we want to admit that? Why would we want to be looked at as a weak link by society? Is it because we want attention? Is it because weakness is just too much for our society to bear? Why? So many questions, and I can’t say I have the answers. But I do know this....
Today I had to look at myself in the mirror and tell myself that I had survived a terrible time in the world. I had survived many battles in this strange year that didn’t make it to the face of social media, likely I am sure you have as well. And I never stopped to tell myself what a great job I was doing, or that it was okay to feel these feelings. I tried so hard to hide them away, constantly telling myself to be grateful for this or that, someone has it worse, at least I have this, or I needed to calm down and let it go. @millennial.therapist on Instagram
outlines these invalidating comments the best. And I think we all need to not only stop saying them to each other, but stop saying them to ourselves.
This year is not Merry and Bright. It is not joyful Christmas mornings, it is not baking, present wrapping, Christmas movies, or snuggling up on the couch with a fire going. It is so different and abnormal. I am celebrating the birth of our savior and the promises God keeps, but I am also feeling every bit of sadness as this season has been modified greatly. It is anything but normal, so why do we force ourselves to try to feel normal?
With that being said, I am giving you permission to feel. All the things. Stop faking it and start feeling it. When we give ourselves permission to feel, we also give ourselves permission to thrive. We give ourselves permission to grow beyond who we were the previous season, day, or hour. And even though this season might not feel Merry & Bright, there is always another season to feel positive, grateful, and joyful. It’s just a bad season, not a bad life.
Wishing all of you the safest and merriest of Christmases. Squeeze everyone you love so tightly.
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