The Mug

I haven’t written anything in a really long time. I honestly haven’t written anything since I wrote my mom’s eulogy and spoke at her funeral. I’ve struggled in areas with having the energy, the spark, or even the will to WANT to write what is on my heart- because if you know me, you know there is always something on my heart.

I was working on my Mother’s Day collages for LikeToKnow.It today. I was prepping for one giant blog post compiling different aesthetics for different moms. I got on one of my favorite sites where I purchase lots of gifts, and I scrolled right across the gift I had gotten my mom for Christmas back in December. Ever feel like time stops and the world is still, and even though people are moving and talking around you, you are suddenly in quick sand on the brink of your heart ceasing to beat? I had one of those moments today as my hand swiped past the $14 mug.

You’re probably wondering why the mug holds any relevance, but it does. I purchased it with the intention that I would give it to my mom on Christmas. I purchased it with the intention that my mom was coming off the ventilator. I purchased it with the intention that my mom would get better. I purchased it with the intention of giving it to her, although after Christmas, but I would definitely be giving it to her along with her other gifts. I purchased it with the intention that we would have another conversation, and she could marvel at the fact that it was her favorite colors- turquoise and gold. I purchased it with the intention that we would hear her laugh. I purchased it with the intention of my optimistic faith. I purchased it with the intention that it would touch her hands.

Do you want to know one of the most painful feelings in the world? Returning a gift you cannot give because the person is no longer alive. That wasn’t a pain I thought I’d experience with grief. I tried to return the pajamas I bought her to go with the mug, but I just ended up sitting in the Nordstrom Rack parking lot thinking of how insane this was. I knew I probably wasn’t the first or the last to return a gift I never got to give, but the entire concept was so foreign and really just too much to bear. So I still have the pajamas, and I still have this special mug. In fact it has been on my dresser since the day she passed away.

I remember the mug was sitting on my dresser before I went to the hospital. Walter and Becca had tried to pick up the house since we had the wedding the next day; there was still so much to do which looking back was the best thing at the time. With the intention to help, it got stuck in the top dresser drawer. I noticed it as soon as I got home. I opened the drawer, and I stuck the mug right on top. The mug has sat there until 72 hours ago when I finally wrapped it up and put it away in a box with other items of my mothers. And today, I scrolled right across it on my phone screen.

I don’t know why it happened. I can’t make things make sense. I just know things like this don't just happen.... In my mind the mug should have been well past sold out at this point, perhaps even on clearance. But I am going to put a picture and a link to the mug in this post for you to purchase for your own mothers. Maybe reflecting on her giggle when she takes a sip of her favorite tea or coffee or the gleam in her eye when she reads the front. I have a lump in my throat as I write this, but please purchase it with the beautiful intention that your own mom will hold the mug in her hands for years to come. Purchase the mug with the intention that you will make beautiful memories and set aside your differences if you have any. Purchase the mug because even though it is JUST $14, it could be the mug that reminds you both to laugh often, love much, and live as well as you can.

Best Mom Ever

Link to the mug below:

https://rstyle.me/+J61OCmr3qZE2RZQDccKfDg

My disclaimer to anything I ever write about my mother is this: My mom and I were not the closest in my adult years. I remember my mom best when I was a child, from what I can remember. But we talked every day for the last 3 months of her life, and I am going to treasure those months as well as my entire childhood that I can remember fondly. But I do not want anyone pointing the finger at me as though I am painting a perfect relationship, because it was so far from.

Not So Merry & Bright—Giving Ourselves Permission To Feel

It is just a few days prior to Christmas, and I can’t help but feel anything BUT in the Christmas spirit. I’ve been sharing on my stories lately ways many of us invalidate our feelings or the feelings of others through our choice of words, and I thought it was important to bring that to a post in your feed.⁣⁣⁣

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It took me a long time (27 years) to learn, you do not have to be positive constantly. My mind has been trained over time to constantly put up a front in order to prove to the world how strong and fierce I am. With age I have learned we can still be strong and fierce, and also have emotions that aren’t favorable by our society. We can still give ourselves permission to feel anger, sadness, guilt, regret, and inadequacy without thinking it is wrong.⁣⁣⁣

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We are in the age of aesthetic feeds and joyful emotions constantly generated. A highlight reel that never stops spinning with perfectly curated moments. When in reality, 75% of us aren’t feeling that joyful. Our aesthetic isn’t cohesive, but rather it is chaotic. But why would we want to admit that? Why would we want to be looked at as a weak link by society? Is it because we want attention? Is it because weakness is just too much for our society to bear? Why? So many questions, and I can’t say I have the answers. But I do know this....⁣⁣⁣

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Today I had to look at myself in the mirror and tell myself that I had survived a terrible time in the world. I had survived many battles in this strange year that didn’t make it to the face of social media, likely I am sure you have as well. And I never stopped to tell myself what a great job I was doing, or that it was okay to feel these feelings. I tried so hard to hide them away, constantly telling myself to be grateful for this or that, someone has it worse, at least I have this, or I needed to calm down and let it go. @millennial.therapist on Instagram

outlines these invalidating comments the best. And I think we all need to not only stop saying them to each other, but stop saying them to ourselves. ⁣⁣⁣

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This year is not Merry and Bright. It is not joyful Christmas mornings, it is not baking, present wrapping, Christmas movies, or snuggling up on the couch with a fire going. It is so different and abnormal. I am celebrating the birth of our savior and the promises God keeps, but I am also feeling every bit of sadness as this season has been modified greatly. It is anything but normal, so why do we force ourselves to try to feel normal? ⁣⁣⁣

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With that being said, I am giving you permission to feel. All the things. Stop faking it and start feeling it. When we give ourselves permission to feel, we also give ourselves permission to thrive. We give ourselves permission to grow beyond who we were the previous season, day, or hour. And even though this season might not feel Merry & Bright, there is always another season to feel positive, grateful, and joyful. It’s just a bad season, not a bad life. ⁣⁣⁣

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Wishing all of you the safest and merriest of Christmases. Squeeze everyone you love so tightly.

The ULTIMATE Wedding Registry Guide

6 months from now W and I will hopefully be curled up with a bottle of wine in our honeymoon suite in the Dominican enjoying life as husband and wife. Only 6 months!! We are now closer to our wedding than the day we got engaged. It seems so unreal most days, and I feel highly unorganized usually always. With that being said let’s get to the purpose of this post!

This blog is really not about me. It’s about all of you who read, subscribe, and contribute. I might have written this post, but all of you contributed your thoughts one way or another, and I am truly grateful for that. The idea behind this was not only to help Walter and me, but to also help future brides down the road. There is no magic book on how to plan a wedding, but I am honestly so proud of myself. In 4 months he and I planned our entire wedding except for the flowers, cake, and dress. I wanted us to put this behind us so we could focus on Walter’s health, and it was honestly the best thing to happen, because everyone is now rescheduling because of quarantine. My heart literally breaks for all of those brides; I cried reading their posts thinking about how much work and money Walter and I have already poured into our own wedding day. With that being said, let’s discuss the daunting task that is the wedding registry.

Wedding Registry: A fun, awesome, time where you and your future spouse peruse the aisles of department stores and use the little scanners to scan the items you just have to have to start your new life together in holy matrimony. Is it a new set of fine china? A complete set of silverware?

Let’s be honest, ours looks a little different, due to quarantine. I’m not going to lie; we have a ton of stuff already from when we both started out on our own. I was a little lost when it came to registering, simply because I didn’t even know where to begin. Walter and I really want cash the most for our honeymoon. It is important to us to take a trip where we will have memories for the rest of our lives. With that being said, I also know that lots of people just cannot come to a wedding or a shower without a physical gift in hand. So I decided to create a registry with items, and for all of my fellow brides following along, I am going to outline how I did this, why I registered for certain things you would never think of, and how I stayed organized. I managed to get this done in 5 hours, and I am really proud of myself. I felt like this was a much better option for us than physically going into a store.

First thing is first, where. The number one most recommended places on my Instagram and Facebook feeds were Bed, Bath, and Beyond tying with Amazon. Second retail options went to Crate & Barrel and Target, and trailing behind were Macy’s, Lowe’s, Pottery Barn, and Zola. I chose to use Amazon and Zola. After a lot of investigating and thinking of how I proceed when I shop registries, I decided that a centralized location was the best fit for us. Zola and Amazon are huge platforms, and it was very simple for me to add our Amazon registry right into Zola. I also had one item I wanted from Wiliams Sonomoa, but did not want to create a Williams Sonoma registry. Zola made it very easy for me to add that single item right into the registry on Zola! I also was able to add the items from Crate & Barrel I wanted without creating an entirely different registry. It was also really simple for me to put our Zola link on TheKnot so that guests can view it on our wedding website. Zola also allows for gift cards and a centralized way to manage a honeymoon fund directly linked to your bank account, which is what Walter and I were really trying to accomplish. I definitely recommend making any item over $150 into a “group gift”; this allows multiple people to contribute to an expensive gift without going all in on their own. Another thing both Amazon and Zola do is offer you 20% off any gifts that don’t get purchased. So adding a few expensive items was a great idea, even if folks don’t buy it… automatic 20% off later!

The Basics that most brides told me they cannot live without:

- Amazing Towels, tons of them, buckets and buckets of towels.

- Pots and Pans, bakeware, casserole dishes

- Glassware

- Silverware and Dishes

- Good Vacuum, most recommended Dyson and Roomba. We have a SharkPro that I cannot live without.

- Expensive Sheets

- Small appliances like a toaster oven, air fryer, dehydrator, foodsaver, instapot, KITCHEN AID MIXER, griddle,etc. (A lot of the ninja stuff!)

- Cast Iron anything

- Patio Set and fire pit

- Fireproof safe (We already have one, but I HIGHLY recommend!)

- Chick Fil A Ice Maker

- Table Cloths and Table Linens

- Bissell Crosswave

- Cutco Knife Set

- Le Creuset Pots, pans, casserole dishes, Dutch oven, anything Le Creuset basically because it lasts forever.

- Crate & Barrel Serving Items (Trays, Ice Bucket, Cheese Board, etc.)

Things I was told not to register for, because people will buy them anyway:

-Cutting Boards

- Plastic Storage Containers

-Serving Boards/Trays

-Waffle Maker (Takes up a lot of space to be used for one sole purpose. Eggos for life.)

I added a lot of these to my list, but since we have a brand new set of silverware, dishes, and mixing bowls we received for Christmas; I skipped those. No use in duplicating. I have created a checklist (because I honestly wish someone would have done this for me!) to walk you through. If you don’t need it; you can cross it off.

#1 Honeymoon Fund! J

Bath Sheets (The Jumbo ones. I put 30 on my registry I think?), wash cloths, hand towels, etc.

(I Did not add this, but I have seen people add new shower curtains and bathroom accessories. Great idea!)

Beach Towels

Satin Sheet set or high thread count sheets

Weighted Blanket and Duvet Cover

Facial Steamer

Ninja IQ 5 in 1 system **this and all of the accessories are my #1 requested item. If you don’t know what this is, look it up. **

Ninja Foodie

Meat thermometer

Buffet Crock Pot cooker for dips

Electric carving knife

Amazon Silicone Baking Mats

Roasting pan with rack and lid

Foodsaver kit and Bags (Momma Haleigh Schoon recommends this, have to have it.)

Knife Set

Clip on strainer

3 in 1 Avocado Slicer

Marble Rolling Pin

Nice set of Tongs

Nice set of Spatulas

Over the cabinet door organizers

Muffin tins and bread pans- Multiple

Le Creuset everything (Kettle, iron skillet, pie pans, all the pans. Need I say more?)

Pots and Pans – Nice ones

Pots and Pans organizer

Pyrex glass storage set… lasts forever.

Williams Sonoma Limited edition Kitchen Aid Mixer (My Dream Mixer…)

InstaPot

Cuisinart 4 Slice Toaster

KitchenAid Immersion Blender

Calphalon Pizza Pan 16” (Girls said this was a MUST, so I registered for 2, because W loves pizza!)

Silicone Kitchen Utensil Set

Crate & Barrel Wine glasses

Crate & Barrel over the sink colander

Crate & Barrel cooling rack

Crate & Barrel 11 Bottle wine rack

Hamilton Beach Flex Brew

Cordless Vacuum

Handheld Bissell Carpet/Upholstery Cleaner

Handheld Vacuum Cleaner

Wet/Dry Bissell Car Vacuum Kit

Shark Steam Mop and Pads

Scale with Bluetooth

Bissell Air Purifier- 2 sizes

Outdoor items are what we truly need:

Grill and grill accessories

Leaf Blower

Power Drill Set

Hedge Trimmer

Weed Eater

Power Washer

Camping Chairs

Fire Table

Tailgating Tent

Tailgating grill and grill table

Tailgating tables (4ft, 6ft, 8ft and corresponding spandex stretch table cloths) Shout out to Erica Crouch for the table idea. Literally a must have for tailgating and livestock shows!

Yeti Tundra Haul Cooler

Shop Vac

Blue Driver Diagnostic Tool for your vehicles

Kayak

Blow up Beer Pong for the pool

Lowe’s gift cards

Delta gift cards for future trips

Paper Shredder

I linked both registries here for you guys to review.

https://www.amazon.com/wedding/macy-lewis-walter-colvin-indianapolis-december-2020/registry/IHXPL0T3GFRS

www.zola.com/registry/macyandwalter

As always, thank you for tagging along on this little journey of mine. I haven’t had much time to write, but I am learning to make time for the things that I love. Your support means the world.

Xo,

-Macy